NOW

I have been doing lots of PROCRASTINATING, thinking, soul searching......pondering really!!!
It is time to go BACK to work in about 12 days and it is breaking my heart. I walked out crying and I think i will go back in crying. Lets face it I NEED to go back, I am a WANT type of girl, i want expensive camera equipment, nice clothes, holidays and scrapbook stuff....and hey the adult conversation is GREAT!!!! My school is fantastic, some of my closest and dearest friends work there, and I will get to work with K again after 7 years and that makes me happy too. BUT I just LOVE being a mum, I love picking Max up from preschool, i love snuggles with Flynn. I have been enjoying spending time with my gorgeous dad and am thankful for all that he does. I HATE thinking about child care and the dramas it brings. I love spending time at home, I have loved my routine over the last 6 months. I still have LOTS on my to do list. I am not ready to give up feeding even though everyone tells me it is time. I have NO appropriate clothing as all of a sudden Summer stuff is in the stores in JULY!!!!!
I guess it is just for 2 days and that means next year I will be able to extend my part time further, meaning i can enjoy the simple pleasure of picking Max up from school and enjoying my cutie-pies 2nd year. I need to let go, i need to relax. It will be hard to get back into the swing of things and the control freak inside may just not cope.....but hey even if i was a billionaire I would still work half a day at BPS as i DO love it so xxxxx